GOITER PEACH!

GOITER PEACH!  Spring 2011. 

The baby made me eat it.

Man has it been a long time since I've posted anything on this.  I got kind of sick of blogs; seems so self-important.  Yet, people seemed to find it fun and hilarious so since I'm in the mood, here we go.


Today I was downtown and went to McDonald's for lunch (SHHHHH, DON'T TELL DAVID).  I was so hungry I thought I was going to puke.  I walked through all of Covent Garden Market, trying to make a more proper choice but I HAD TO HAVE FRIES AND FOUNTAIN POP.

www.kaboodle.com

So back over to McDonald's I went.   Might I mention, this was at the McD's at the corner of Dundas & Richmond Street, The Core of Downtown.  So not only was the food delicious (how did that Big Mac appear on my tray?), there was constant entertainment- a veritable dinner theatre:

• The ghetto mom with the loud, demanding daughter who could not DEAL that they had run out of Despicable Me minions for the Happy Meals.  Someone in line shouted "TAKE WHAT YOU GIT.. TAKE WHAT Y'GIT".  (Smirk).
•  The older dude sitting across from me wearing double headphones- white in colour- who kept trying to make eye contact and who took more than one glance at my very pregnacious bosom.
• The revolting dude in front of me in line... how can I describe this...
• dirty hair
• a white "wife-beater" that was too large & long, exposing his:
• hairy neck
• hairy back
• super hairy pits
• sporadically hairy upper arms
• a severe case of psoriasis which extended way beyond his WHITE SOCKS  
• (I am taking MS Word courses... note my use of bullets and demoted bullets.  I rock.)

Now, considering I am nauseous most of the time and am on high doses of diclectin, this was NOT  a good combination.  Saving grace?  No smell.  Also he seemed like a nice guy.  And I felt bad for the skin issue.  Like, I mean, how much does that suck when summer rolls around and you can't just wear sandals and shorts?  Poor bugger. 

Anyway, then I hobbled down to the tax centre, wobbled back to Covent Garden market, and bought 10 furry peaches.  I cannot WAIT for Niagara Peaches to come out in their full glory.  I will eat a minimum of 7 at once, and just lean right over the sink to do so.  This reminds me of last year's Goiter Peach:

OMG.

I CANNOT FIND THE PHOTO OF ME AND GOITER PEACH.

I will continue that search, but in the meanwhile:

www.seriouseats.com

 
Nextly, I am deep into a serious Pinterest addiction.  Like, if you are prone to being obsessive with things/people/books/fads/trends/clothing/fill-in-any-possible-blank, then oh my Lord, Pinterest will be a problem in your life.

When I was going through my tattoo fanaticism last summer, Pinterest and me?  Don't even.

Inspired by:
http://pinterest.com/pin/116389971589544318/

And now with the impending baby?  Let's just put it like this:

urlesque.com
 http://pinterest.com/pin/287737863665399814/

I am- once again- hungry.  I wish someone would make me some really crunchy, super-spice-filled ginger snaps, like those really ______ crunchy buggers.   I printed off a recipe but feel too lethargic to make them. Oh yeah, while waiting for the bus today, a lady says to me "Expecting a baby soon?"  I was like, "Yeah, early October".

"ARE YOU SURE IT'S JUST ONE?" she says.  

Meh! 

Lipstick Jungle

So I fell on me face at one of the busiest intersections in the city this week.  I was all dolled up, loaded with stage makeup, all dressed in black, with a massive backpack on my back.  I was headed to play at Kiwanis.  On the bus.  So I almost missed my connecting bus to Kiwanis due to my falling.  Then I got to Kiwanis, and the person who was supposed to drive me wasn't there.  Even though the only reason I agreed to play was because she said she'd drive me straight to UWO after I played, because I had to play a masters recital right after the Kiwanis class.  So I was like 'Ok, the recital is in 45 minutes and I have no ride, i guess I'll take the bus'.  Then a massive tree fell over in front of the church, stopping all traffic on Ridout Street, including the bus I was about to take.

Kiwanis Tree 2012

Anyway I got a ride to UWO with the parents of the girl I played for (hate having to do that... HATE) (also dog hair in the car... so not their fault, but can't HANDLE) (esp on all  black recital wear!!)  ANYWAY I get to UWO and there's this mix-up about where the hellz the recital is going to be.  Ends up being where I thought, in Talbot, which has the worst acoustic ever.  Despise.  Despise so much.

Anyway I finally made it home safely.  The next day I tripped down a couple of stairs but thankfully did not wound myself.   Then I got a parking ticket at UWO saying I hadn't paid for parking when in fact I'd paid $18 and had the receipt displayed prominently and obviously on the dash.  Whatevs.

APPEAL.  SAY WHAAAAT?

Then today I left my dayplanner in a pew across the city, at Kiwanis, because my brain is floating around somewhere, doing something useful on another planet, I'm sure, but not serving me well here on planet Earth.

Starbucks has seriously been my saviour this week.  Cinnamon Dolce Latte HELLO.

Lovefest. 

Also today I bought a fun new lipstick.  I feel both joy and guilt over this.  Joy because HELLO NEW LIPSTICK EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!  And guilt because it's not organic or natural in any way and is loaded with lead and other shite.

    

Dude needs sleep.  Lipstick can't help those raccoon eyeballs.  Hurhur.

On a positive note, I got on board with this whole Jennifer Hudson Weight Watchers thang and frigg it's sweet.  Lost 10 lbs. quite effortlessly while eating nachos and salads and wings and starbucks galore. And by galore, I mean within the daily point allowance.  Oh, except for this past week, where I did not lose, but gained a couple of pounds because I ate carrot cake.  SO much carrot cake.  SO worth it. 

TOOOOOASHT!

The Fall Guy.

Omg, do you remember the show "The Fall Guy"?

Haaa!  Omg, why did I watch this again?  Well, if we're on the subject of amazing 80's television...

Wow.

DO YOU KNOW HOW IN LOVE I WAS WITH RICKY SCHRODER?  I begged Mom to take me to the Waterfront Mall (Towers mall, at the time, for the Summerside folks who get how hilarious that is), to Mac's Smokes almost every day after school in hopes that there would be a new edition of Bop, the Big Bopper, Teen Beat- ANYTHING with Ricky's photo in it.  I won't get into the story of how I sneakily used someone else's phone (and long distance) to call L.A. repeatedly in hopes that Ricky Schroder would answer the phone.  Let's just say I was apprehended and my allowance went to Bell Atlantic that month...


Movin' right along...

What was it to exist without watching and loving the Muppet Show!  And the Muppet Movies!  Genius.

Who didn't love Punky Brewster!?  You'd better believe I have the sheet music for THAT theme song.  What a great friggin' show.  Soleil Moon Frye, you rocked it gurrrl.

Fraggle Rock.  Now, I don't know if it was just me, but I just could not get into Fraggle Rock. I mean, I watched it because, hello, the Trash Heap was hilarious.  But Fraggle Rock just seemed to me a very inferior version of the Muppet Show.  Having said that, Benjamin's first stuffed doggie's name is Sprocket.   Long live Jim Henson.

And then there's was Flaming Road, the nighttime drama/soap featuring Mark Harmon of NCIS fame.

This show was well-loved and faithfully watched in our home until religious slash moral convictions finally put those flamingos to bed for good.  The show was only on the air for 2 years.  I wonder why?  I mean, look at that shirt!

Watched it secretly after school, pretending to just be "flicking through the stations"...  'Nuff said.

Becky, this one's for you.  General Hospital baby.  General Hospital.  God I loved Frisco Jones, like, he was my Ricky Schroder of the LATE 80's/early 90's.  The song "All I Need" sent me into orbit.  Screw NKOTB.  It was ALL about Jack Wagner my friends.  Oh, and I named my saxophone after him.  Yeah, I said that.

Now.  Who out there watched SNL in like, 1989, 1990, 1991?  Epic.



Wow.  I must have a seVERE case of ADHD or something (every teacher I have ever had could attest to this... kicked out of a few classes for disruptive behaviour?  Yeah.  Woopsies.) OH ANYWAY, yes, I was saying- I must have a severe case of ADD because I started out this blog with the word "Fall" in mind, simply because I wanted to say:

The Sears 2011 Fall & Winter catalogue is out Eeeheeheheheheheheheheeeee!!!

I.  love. Sears.  catalogues.  The sound of the pages rippling, the waft of the smell of the ink and pages.. omg.  The summer one is kinda fun, if you like heat and summer and all that shiz.  But if you love the fall, with all the latest sweaters and jeans and booties?  Don't friggin' EVEN.  I love the nasty pics (way too many embroidered items for my taste... see page 35, item G) and the fabulous pics (beautiful silver haired model on page 85.  Amazing.)  So go git yer catalogue and git sniffin'.

Oh also, we're getting married at the end of August.  But I s'pose that merits its own blog, oui?

Push It REAL Good.

It has been s'dang long since I've written a blog that I'm feelin' a little rusty.   I need to work up some hilarity and wit.  But for now... for all of you who love to cook a bad ass burger on the bar-B:  take a little trip (preferably on an LTC bus with all mah peeps) downtown to Jill's Table (J'ADORE) and get yourself one of these bad boys:

The Hamburger Press, by Hampton Direct. 

 

 

 

 

Get a big 'ole load of good ground beef, preferably drug-free (texture and taste are incomparable), throw in your fave flavours:  herbs, spices, bread crumbs, sauces, whatever you love, and shove it into the burger press, separating each delicious burger with its own little disc, and get pushin'.  Once you've got all your burgers made, freeze them on a tray and voila, ready-to-cook homemade, low-sodium, amazing, tasty, moist (ah!  horrible word alert!  horrible!) burgers.  While you're at Jill's, pick yourself up a couple of bottles of Kozlik's Canadian mustard- don't even get me STARTED on the "Sweet n' Smokey" flavour (swoon)- and git grillin'.


Told ya... I'm just warmin' up... have to get my writing mojo back.  Just wait for my Best Breakfast in London rant.  I'm on a breakfast-eating rampage lately, so I have a few good (men) stories to tell, including an enormously tall cross-dresser with a blond mullet, an eastern European waitress with giant lips (with bright pink lipstick- naturally), and where to find sausage that is delicious.  That's it, I'm out.  Goin' to read my Kindle (don't get me going on THAT either.  ADDICTED.)

 



 

Lethal Injection

I have known for years not to trust "health care" and cosmetic companies.  When I was 14 I started buying Tom's of Maine toothpaste and seeking out more natural moisturizers.  But I am a super-sucker for marketing and advertising, and quickly pushed aside the info I'd read about the toxins and contaminants companies put in their beauty and skin care products.  Also a tube of Crest on sale at Shoppers Drug Mart is cheaper than a $7 tube of Tom's of Maine cinnamon toothpaste.

So, as I am very good at doing, I pushed the info to a corner of my brain and have kept it there until now.

I was listening to Gillian Deacon, author of "There's Lead in Your Lipstick", being interviewed on CBC Radio (Good God in heaven I adore CBC radio).  I was sitting in the parking lot at Shoppers Drug Mart, the rain drizzling on the windshield, and I couldn't get out until I'd listened to the rest of the interview.  Let's just say the items I'd planned on buying at SDM did not come home with me.  As I listened to Gillian talk about so many of the things I'd already known, I felt that I had to listen to this information.  Then she said it.  She said "You know, there's lead in our lipstick, but because lead is considered a toxin instead of an inGREdient, companies are not required to list it in the ingredient list."

EXCUSE ME?


That was it.  I came home, threw out my $5 tubes of Revlon and Rimmel, cheap makeup removers, and eyeshadows full of carcinogenic talc.  The thought of the toxins leaching through my eyelid skin is totally freaking me out.  Obviously you can't ditch all your makeup at once unless you've got the money to go and totally re-stock, but I've started the process.  I went down to QuarterMaster in Wortley (Good God in heaven I adore Wortley Village) to see what they carried along the lines of natural, organic makeup.

Lavera.  Lavera NaturKosmetik- yes, it's German.  I can spell it with "K"s and it's legit, not cheezy.  (Krazy Kwilts anyone?  Buh.)

Fabulous.

I bought a chocolate-y brown eyeliner, and an awesome lipstick ... a vibrant pinkey-purple in a sexy black tube... loving it.  Best lipstick I have ever owned.  Goes on like silk, feels amazing, and lasts for hours.  And the liner?  Smooth.  AND it has a little blending sponge on the other end.  And the price is no more than the Lise Watier liner I buy at SDM.  In fact, cheaper.  The lipstick is more costly than Rimmel, but cheaper than the luxury brands.  The price to our well-being and family's well-being?  Priceless.  I am choosing to buy fewer products, but ones that are much higher quality, and that won't give me scary diseases.

http://www.lavera.com/


Folks- ditch your Rimmel makeup remover and go and get yourself a tube of Green Beaver all-natural makeup remover.  I could not believe how little I had to use.  I just moistened (hate that word) one of those makeup-remover cotton pad thingies, put a tiny bit of the GB remover, and that's all I needed for very easy, quick and complete removal of eyeshadows, liner, pencil and mascara.  Unreal.  And cheaper than the expensive crap I'd bought at the drugstore that all the models say they love.

Suck on THAT.

The couple who started up the Green Beaver Company (Canadian, from eastern Ontario,  love that) were both scientists who quit their jobs and started the Green Beaver company so their kids would have healthy body washes and skincare.  I had to get past the name of the company, and the fact that it looks kind of outdoors-y and woodsy (HATE)... I like my tubes and potions to be pretty and pink and black and gold and everything.  So I had to put that aside.  I don't like that the makeup remover is in a tube like toothpaste.  But you know, I can deal because holy FRIGG it works and I don't feel like I'm burning my eyes every night when I take my makeup off, and giving myself macular degeneration and who knows what else.  I need to smarten up and deal, and there that is.

You KNOW that when I get on a bandwagon about something, I'm very pushy about it (hopefully in a hilarious way), but seriously, I am going to be driving everyone CRAZY with this. This poisoning and deception needs to stop.


Here are some links to (many Canadian) companies who sell all-organic, truly natural cosmetics and skincare and laundry products:

http://www.lavera.com/

http://www.greenbeaver.com/  

http://greenerchoices.org/ 

http://www.leapingbunny.org/indexcus.php 

 http://safecosmetics.org/

http://www.cosmeticsdatabase.com/ 

 http://www.intelligentnutrients.com/

http://drhauschka.com/ 

http://aubrey-organics.com/

http://www.drbronner.com/  (creepiest looking guy ever!)

http://www.actnaturals.com/ 

http://www.afterglowcosmetics.com/rh/Organic-cosmetics-Canada.asp

http://www.tintsofnatureusa.com/index.html 

That should do until my next rant... which will be more raving about all the amazing new SAFE and fun and gorgeous products we've bought. In the meanwhile we will be purging our cancer-causing makeup, Head n' Shoulders, moisturizers, cleaners- you name it.  GONZO. 

THE AGENCY MODELS: New images of Christine

THE AGENCY MODELS: New images of Christine: "Amazing shot of Christine by London's own Dana Brushette! Model: Christine Photography: Dana Brushette MUA: Tanya Ellis Wardr..."

Monsters Inc.

I bought a new pair of jeans and I feel like I'm on (Carpenters reference coming:)  top of the world.  Time for a Carpenters video (1991 remix, no less):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q0G-c4QDMzU


Oh, that's right, I LOVE Karen Carpenter, and I suppose by association, Richard Carpenter, though seeing The Karen Carpenter Story (50 times or so) kind of made me anti Richard.  ANYWAYS (get that "s" off of there!) I think it's already obvious that this blog is going to be pretty incoherent and rather, to use a very overused word, "random".


Back to the jeans.  I have already told you that since the Hamburglar invaded our home, I want to shop 'til I drop.

So last Wednesday, I had a couple of hours and went to the Bay to get a couple of watch batteries.  I always think that The Bay is going to be expensive, but I always end up finding some of my favorite items there, and often at extremely reasonable prices.  I love "kersh", "kensie", "INC", "Jessica Simpson".... DID YOU SAY "INC" and "JESSICA SIMPSON"?  Well then let me tell you:  I found an awesome pair of jeans by INC. (which I can fit into again Praise the Lord Above) and they even have big-ass pockets on the back, to create the illusion of actually having one.  AND?  They have shiny rhinestone-y buttons on all the pockets.  (Squeal?)


 http://www.macys.com/catalog/product/index.ognc?ID=477953&BannerID=PD437&PartnerID=LINKSHARE&LinkshareID=neQRQBqOKtQ-a1fuf4iDMgEfEu8lo39OfQ



And don't even get me goin' about the Jessica Simpson top I found.  Regular $64 (so not worth it), marked half price, and then at the cash, further reduced to $22.  (Looks better on me, p.s.):

Now listen- you could go to a cheaper store and find a cheaply made, gross-feeling shirt for $22.  But why not go to The Bay!?  Love it. 

Next topic:  having an alarm system is the best thing ever.  For $25 a month, and free installation, we have an Alarm Force alarm system that kicks every monster's ass.  Benjamin is sleeping again, IN HIS ROOM, and for like 9 hours a night.  He knows that the alarm system keeps the monsters out and what a difference it has made.  I can sleep again.  David can sleep again.  It's like having this constant invisible superhero laser shield around your house.  I can't stress enough how valuable this is.  When you go away, you don't have to impose on a friend, asking them to look after your house so it looks like someone's home.  Why should they have the responsibility of the safety of your home?  I always hate asking people to do that.  And when you're sleeping, you don't have to listen to Tiny Night Noises because you know you have an alarm system that will go off if someone tries anything stupid. 

Love.

Next topic:  I've added up the replacement value of the jewelry I lost.  I can't even bring myself to write how much but OMG.  Let's just say insurance only covers $4000, and that comes nowhere close.  Apparently the price of gold really HAS gone up.  Holy frigg.  So that is just another reason to take legal action with UPS.  I've already spoken with the folks at the faculty of law at UWO to get legal advice, and I am going to set up a consultation with a lawyer downtown to see how much of a case we have.  But pretty much everyone I've talked to is shocked at the negligence UPS showed at leaving a big 'ole sticker on our front door, the DAY BEFORE CHRISTMAS, announcing that we were away.  And leaving the package at the back door, to boot.  Unreal.  Oh, and guess what? They were here again the other day when I was home and didn't even ring the doorbell, but decided to leave the handvac I ordered IN THE FRONT PORCH, on the floor, with no notification whatsoever.  Another $100 lost if someone had walked in and seen it.  Unreal again!  And David's aunt ordered a Dyson vacuum cleaner awhile back, and UPS delivered it... AND LEFT IT OUTSIDE ON HER FRONT STEP!!!!  Are you SERIOUS?

I need another cup of coffee.

Confessions of a Shopaholic, Break-in Edition

All I want to do since the break-in is spend.  I want to just go CRAZY buying things.  I don't know exactly what it is, I'm sure there is research done explaining this reaction (Kenneth Cole, I thank you).  But ever since the day we got home and found the house had been invaded, I just want to buy things.  I want to buy magazines, and I've already subscribed to four since the break-in.  I justify it because it's for the studio/parents, which is true, but I just needed to BUY things.  Online, in person, doesn't matter.  I want to throw everything out and replace it with all new stuff. Obviously that isn't going to happen, so I'm just going nuts with all this pent-up energy that needs to be spent, literally, but don't have the funds to do it.  I want new clothes.  I want to replace all the underwear they went through.  I want to go and buy a big ole gold bracelet to replace Dad's bracelet.  I still can't handle that they took it.  It's the only thing I got of his when he passed away 11 years ago.  I despise them for taking it.  Yet I don't.  But TOtally do.  I want to buy a new one.  But can't.  I want a new iPod so I can go walking with music again.  I want to play music in the studio on a new laptop but can't.  It's making me a bit crazy.  I'm trying to get my head around it and see the best- no one was hurt.  No one is sick.  They only took very specific things.  All that stuff.  But like, how about the ruby ring with two little diamonds that dad bought me when I was like, 10?  WHY DID THEY NEED TO TAKE THAT?  I hate them.  But I don't.  But totally do. 

I want to buy books and fill the shelves with them.  I don't even need to read them.  I just want to buy them.  I want to buy a new couch and new rugs and new cutlery.  I want to buy piles of DVD's to replace all the movies we had on the laptop for Benjamin. 

I want to buy clothes.  SO many clothes.  I want new shirts, new jeans, new boots.  It's very specific the things that I want to buy.  I don't want coats or scarves or CD's or anything.  No earrings.  I want rings and bracelets and shirts and books.  I can't stop thinking about buying things, like, just PILES of stuff.  It's driving me nuts.

And now the dreams have started.  Couldn't sleep all night.  Every noise is someone trying to get in, to get at us, to take more. 

Steal Me, Sweet Thief

It is such an odd state of mind that you're in after you've been robbed.  If you're someone who is a trusting soul who has had good neighbours and never been violated before, your sense of trust is shattered and you don't know what to think any more.  You experience a fear and an insecurity that you haven't known.  If you're someone like me who, despite generally being a "glass half full" personality, always has their guard up and expects desperate people to do desperate things (and many a person is desperate), then it's not so shocking.

Yet still, it does something.  I don't know what to do with myself.  I don't know what to expect.  I don't know what to do with the rage and don't anyone dare say prayer because prayer won't bring back my dad's bracelet and my studio's computer.  I definitely believe in the power of God and the generosity of people who are open to "hearing" God and acting on his promptings.  But from years of experience, I know that it's kind people, generous people, who help out in cases like this.  Regardless of religion or spiritual belief.  The easiest thing in the world is to say "I'm praying for you", and that's nice. Even though I doubt you are spending much time in prayer, it's a nice thought.  I don't want to go off on a tangent about the fact that our actions are the proof of our spirituality, not words or how many hours a week you go to church or how many groups you're in. Well, actually I do really want to go off on that one, but won't right now.

My mind is so weighted with thoughts right now.  I am extremely grateful that no one is hurt or ill.  That thankfulness won't change.  So I go from being level-headed about things, to completely paralyzed with fear and don't know what to do about anything.  I don't want to leave the house empty.  I don't want to ever wear the Fidelity jeans I won because it will always remind me of the violation they caused.  I don't want to be upstairs.  I don't want to be downstairs.  I don't want to stay home.  I don't want to go out.  I'm nauseous but I'm hungry.  I want to cook but can't get myself to make anything.  I want to call someone but am too tired to talk any more.  I want to play music for my little monkey (Roch Voisine's "Little Drummer Boy", hello, favorite) but can't because my computer's gone.  Every nap and bedtime, we sat on the couch, him with his favorite pillow and "Rum pum pum" playing, and he'd go asleep.  That is gone.  My studio is affected because now I can't record anyone's progress.  I can't show my students YouTube videos or listen to music and play their tracks for them.

I HATE WHOEVER DID THIS SO MUCH I WANT TO THROW UP ALL OVER THEIR FACE AND THEN THROW UP ALL OVER THEIR FACE AGAIN.  Then I want to blare Rod Stewart music into their eardrums for hours on end while force-feeding them hairy anchovies.

On the other hand, what the eff have you been through in your life to make you desperate enough to open my son's piggy bank and steal his change.

Good God.  What do you do with this.

T Cozy.

I haven't written in ages, and I think it's because I don't know what to write about.  Also not much time and extremely tired, but mostly, I don't know what to say.  If I talk about how much I love snow, I will get the haters all riled up.  I don't feel like talking about anything.  All I want to do is sit and stare out the window at the snow and sit next to the tree.  I have eaten enough sweets and drank enough coffee to last about 2 months, and still somehow, have lost 10 pounds (I think that happened before the sweet-eating began ... yes?)  In any case, it's like a heavy dark grey blanket has been lifted off and I can enjoy things again.  I have all my gifts bought, wrapped, and shipped.  All cards are written, sent, and handed out.  Recital program ready to print.  Parties planned, food bought. 

It's bizarre.

Is this how people are used to feeling?

See what I mean?  Despite my clear mind, I don't feel like I have anything to say.  I could talk about the fundraiser last Sunday night, but don't yet have the energy.  I just feel content.  No super-highs or super-lows.  Just good.  Calm.  There is something to be said for just being content, not needing a rush of adrenaline all the time.  The constant adrenaline rush constantly takes you out of the moment.  I think it's avoidance.  Or something.  But again, not feeling like thinking too much. 

Quynh Nhi pad thai is so delicious I can't stand it.  Went with Lori on Friday, then went to the Bay.   It was so bizarre being in a mall.   I feel like I haven't been anywhere public in months. It was nice just being around other PEOPLE, non-music-related-people.  People who don't associate me with a piano.  Just talking about clothes and "Do you think this colour would look good on my daughter?" kind of comments.  Love that.  People are so sweet.  I just stood in between the racks of pyjamas at The Bay and watched all these lovely women- all ages, sizes, backgrounds, personalities, and senses of fashion (or yes, lack thereof)- and watched them choose gifts for the special people in their lives.  Some people say Christmas isn't about presents, but when I watched the smiling faces buying robes for their daughter-in-laws, I almost cried.  It was so "human", seeing how deeply these ladies cared about the small details of the items they were buying, wanting to bring much joy as possible to someone they care about. 

I know I'm idealizing everything because it's snowing but maybe that is WHY I love snow so much.  You would NEVER see this happen in July.  Summer, you can SUCK IT.

Shiny Happy People

I can't think of anything else these days except playing for Follies.  My mind is full of music and costumes and glitter and brilliant lyrics.  People talk to me and have to repeat themselves because I'm so internally consumed by all of it.  I don't have time to write a proper blog about anything right now, but I just want to say that I am shocked and humbled by the number of people who have come up to me to talk about the last blog, "Back in Black".  Not only can I not get over the AMOUNT of responses to it, but what is really moving is the CONTENT of these responses.  What I am seeing is that people respond to honesty WITH honesty and vulnerability.  I am going to ask permission to tell a few of the stories they have told me so get yer Kleenex and stay tuned.

Back in Black.

I got home from rehearsal late last night, looked in the mirror, and smiled.  I looked into my eyes and didn't see a stranger.  I saw ME.  I can't remember the last time I felt this way.  Good God in heaven it feels GOOD.

I feel like I've been in a fog for the past three years, and it's starting to lift.  I contribute this to three main things:  a) good friends who are willing to be honest enough to tell you you need help, b) being willing to take steps to deal with the physical and emotional effects of stress, and c) playing for Follies.  The combination of these three things has happened in a short period of about three weeks, and I say that to say that it sometimes doesn't take long to turn things around a bit.  And I say THAT because when you are feeling like I was, you can't see out.  You can't see anything positive.  You know in your head that there are so many things to be thankful for, and you know that there are SO many people SOOOO much worse off than you are.  And still the darkness sits and you can't see through it.

Which brings me to last night.  I should probably write more chronologically about what brought me there but who cares, I need to talk about Follies because it has brought me back from the dead.  That is seriously how I feel.  It scares me a little when I think I almost gave up the chance to play for this.  As crazy as I am for the music, and as much as I love working with this group of people, I had no heart to play anything, EVEN SONDHEIM.  But both David and Shelley said to me, "Just go to the first rehearsal, just sit and listen and then see how you feel."  So I hauled myself out the door and went.  Literally the minute I walked through the doors and saw them dancing and heard the singing, I felt like crying.  As cheesy as it sounds, it felt like coming home, and that is exactly the feeling I have been missing for months now.  I have been trying to fit into a mold of music that isn't me, that I have no interest in MAKING me, and I am SO done with it.  That isn't to say I won't play a wide range of music- classical, jazz, opera, art song, etc.  But I am not going to constantly feel apologetic for not enjoying playing opera arias.  I DON'T LIKE IT.  AT ALL.  I LOVE SONDHEIM AND OH MY GOD AM I GOOD AT IT.  I felt like FLYING last night at that rehearsal.  Two and a half hours of playing the sh*t out of a piano that had two busted pedals, and I didn't CARE I was so HAPPY.

No seriously, I can't even deal with how relieved and happy I feel about this.  I have been doing a LOT of thinking over the past week about me and The Music Thing and I would be a fool to give it up (as I have seriously been contemplating doing).  I have decided that instead of half-assing it with teaching or performing, kind of dabbling in this and that, not fully committing to anything (again, the whole "being apologetic" thing is very paralyzing), I am going to put my freaking GUTS into being a teacher, and into being a performer.  I'm going to go to every seminar I can, play for as many shows I can, and most importantly, protect this new-found feeling by only saying yes to things that support this new outlook.  Reduce stress, reduce pressure, increase learning, increase self-development, and increase happiness.

After rehearsal last night, at around 11:00 p.m., one of the ladies in the show, who I don't even KNOW, said "Just puttin' this out there folks- I'm headin' to Bernie's for appetizers.  Whoever wants to come, that's where I'll be."  And off we went.  And there we were, a big table full of people who adore Sondheim, who adore each other, who love music and performing with their whole BEING, and who love half-price Bernie's appetizers at midnight.  I made 8 new friends last night, ate delicious wings, and played the best music on the face of the earth.

Then I came home, looked at myself in the mirror, and smiled.

And THAT is what I'm talkin' 'bout.

Color Me Badd.

Except NOT bad "at tall"!!  If you were here, I would say "Touch my hair" and it would be mildly awkward until you DID touch my hair and you'd be all "OMG your hair is so shiny and silky!" and I'd be like "yeah, I bought the sulfate-free color-protect shampoo & conditioner, good times."

I wasn't sure about buying the "smoothing" one because I hate how weighed down the hair feels when you use that crap.  But this stuff?  You hardly need any shampoo, it has LOTS of bubbly-lather-i-ness, and it smells great. 

Love.

Cereal number.

The cereal number is 5, because that is how many boxes of Special K that I now have living in my house.  I am telling you two things right now:  I'm tired of being fat, and I love the Special K Challenge.

Oh, that's right, I said the F word.  Everyone's always like, "No, you're not "FAAAAT", look at your long arms and you're so TALL!" and I'm like, yeah, I am 30 pounds heavier than before I had Benjamin, and I feel like garbage and I have one pair of pants that fits so nevermind.

 Over a year ago, I started a weight loss program because I was asked to, but I just didn't have the time to commit to centre visits and weigh-ins and all that stuff.  I'm more of a Solo Loser of Weight.  I need to obsess and spend hours in magazines and make mistakes and not have to explain myself to someone who's weighing me because then I get "all like":  don't tell ME I can't have a piece of cake at my friend's birthday party (because EVERY time I want cake, I am of COURSE at a friend's birthday party...)


Last Tuesday, after the gorging over the Thanksgiving weekend, I dedided that I've had it with feeling uncomfortable.  I went online, and though I was pessimistic about finding anything helpful,  I stumbled upon the Special K challenge, you know, the one you always see advertised on TV with the red-swim-suited girl eating Special K from a white bowl and looking all lean and serene, and you think it's a load of crap because diets don't work?

 Yeah, well, I started eating according to their "classic plan" last Tuesday, and HELLO, already down 4 lbs.  I seriously feel better than I have in MONTHS- sleeping great, eating amazing food AND LOTS OF IT, have more energy, and don't loathe myself.   There is something horrible that happens when you go from high-to-high eating (delicious PC) chips and (Starbucks Ginger Bread/Caramel Brule) lattes, and that is the lack of self-discipline that happens which turns into fat which turns into defeat which turns into self-repulsion.  Nevermind. 

http://www.specialk.ca/en/Challenge

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aPJpkgqLQ_M&NR=1
and...
are you ready for it?....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SWUBIbsSB2c&feature=related
(Jo, if you're reading, that one's for you).

Is it wrong that I'm eating this for breakfast because OMG.

http://www.presidentschoice.ca/LCLOnline/products.jsp?type=details&productId=prod40006&

False hope

http://www.maybelline.com/Product/Eye/Mascara/falsies-volume-express.htm

http://www.maybellinenewyork.ca/caeng/WHAT_S_NEW/Falsies.aspx

Love this SO much!  

Rain Man

When it rains, it pours, the saying goes.  Since my enormous rant the other night (you know, the Le Shiteau one?  Yeah....) some sweet job possibilities have opened up, and other work-related things have started moving.  What's with that.  There's something to be said for Puttin' (on the Ritz Cracker Jack Black Beauty and the Beast... pheeooo, that felt GOOD) It Out There.

Also I ate pad thai at Quynh Nhi with Janet today, as well as some VERY tasty spring and fresh rolls... it really did my heart good.  Seriously.  You feel down?  Go to Quynh Nhi and get yourself a little treat.  Lord I love that place.  A superb conversation doesn't hurt either.

Can I just go into full time marketing for Quynh Nhi and makeup and shoes and all the other love-worthy things out there, wanting to be raved about?  :)

Notice how the coat featured below has a lining which matches my background.  That's all I'm sayin'.  

RW and Co
Fall 2010 Outwear
"Femme Fatale"

I'LL SAY.
NEED!!

Le Shiteau

Well folks, it's RAVIN' TIME.  A whole bunch of stuff has gone down this week, and I think I can finally get this out of my system.  

Deep breath in.. ok GO:

Those of you who know me know David.  This blog is mostly about David.  And Le Shiteau.  Most of you know Le Shiteau by its original name, Le CHAteau.  After reading this blog, you will understand why I have bestowed upon this fine Canadian establishment a New Name.

I cannot tell a lie.  I am not the bestower of the name.  I wish I could take credit for the brilliance that is "Le Shiteau", seeing as I LIVE FOR clever titles and subject lines, but I can't.  It is only appropriate that I give a "shout out" (oh my GAWWWD I HATE THAT EXPRESSION SO MUCH) to my buddy Steph, the creative genius behind Le Chateau's new and improved name.  I bow to your hilarity.  

Ok.  So.  Two years and four months ago, our son was born.  Then, two years and TWO months ago, David was hired at Le Chateau.  It had not been the easiest pregnancy (that is quite possibly the largest understatement ever) and since I am self-employed, seasonally (8 months a year), have no benefits or mat leave, and am a musician (refer to my August Toenails blog if you haven't already on my thoughts about this subject), people- we needed the money.  So in September 2008, David started working at Le Chateau.  

Within a couple of weeks, Another Company approached David.  They had seen what a good employee he was, and recruited him to join their company as assistant manager.  It would be full-time, and would give him security and benefits.  Talk about a boost of confidence.  But- what do you do!?  He'd been looking for work for weeks, and had been very happy to be hired at Le Chateau.  It was only part-time though, and as I said?  Needed the dough.

After much deliberation between the two of us, taking into consideration MY work schedule (commitment for 8 months to students, kind of irreplaceable... haHA, I laugh... no really though, kind of unprofessional and selfish to ditch people when it's already September and all the studios are organized), he finally decided to leave Le Chateau and start training in his new role as assistant manager in the OC (Other Company).  

In just 3 weeks, the man sold 12,000 dollars worth of footwear.  Because it's a great company, not only was he making full time wages, he was also making commission on all this selling he was doing.  It was good times.

Except it wasn't good times.  Since the end of July, I'd been sick every single day.  I was constantly at the doctor, either for myself or our son.  I had swollen lumps in my throat and penicillin wasn't doing a darn thing.  Between working full time, being extremely sick, taking care of a sick baby, and adding hours of practice time on top of all that, it was NOT good.  David working full-time was better financially, but almost undoable physically.  

Re-enter Le Chateau.  On David's last night of work at the store, the manager approached him and told him how much they value him, and how they really did not want to lose him.  She asked him what it would take to get him to stay.  Since they knew all the reasons why he was leaving slash had left, she had to make it a good offer, one that would be more valuable to him than what he already had.  And the only thing more valuable at the time was having a schedule where he only worked days.  So the counter-offer was:

1) Monday to Friday 8-4

2) 40 hours/week

3) Pay raise

4) Benefits to kick in sooner (basically they'd put a rush on them)

5) They would create a full time position for him called "Inventory Specialist".

NOW what to do?!!   He was working at two places he really enjoyed, and now had to choose between them.  Basically, my health and my schedule were the deciding factors, so he had to go, tail between his legs, to the OC and tell them the situation.  Obviously, they weren't too happy.  The manager, who I love, understood, but the DM, not so much.  Anyway, with a week's notice (eep), he left and returned to Le Chateau at the beginning of November.  He asked for more time, so he could give more notice, but since they had kept him on at Le Chateau while he was training at the OTHER store (um, hi, kind of not s'posta do that?), there was pressure to get him back at Le Chateau ASAP.  So he went.  

Within a matter of weeks (8-9?), David's hours were cut down to 25-28 hours a week.  To add to this, he was not only responsible for all that's involved in being head of inventory (shipping, receiving, unpacking, etc etc), but had to work the sales floor in the men's section.  If any of you have seen the men's section at this location, it is not exactly bustling with activity.  Anyway, so he was responsible for sales too.  BUT because he was divided between the two areas (sales floor and inventory/backroom), his sales weren't as high as others who worked ONLY in sales, and this was counted against him.  To ADD to this, the manager who had given him the "Please Don't Leave Us" counter-offer was on sick leave.  The worst part of THAT is she was replaced indefinitely by what I can only describe as a mental case of a DM.  Half the time, David wasn't allowed in the stock room because she spent most of her time there.  She got her hair done during work hours.  She did basically nothing, and blamed everyone else for it (it being EVERYTHING).  To call her unreasonable is the second hugest understatement ever made.  It was almost unbearable working with her.  It came to the point where he called HR to see what could be done to improve the work environment.  She heard about the call, took him out of the store, and went on about how this store was her "baby" and how he'd basically better watch his back.

OKAEEEE then.

Anyway within a few months she was let go.  Bye Bye Birdie.  But, the hours were still getting cut.  It was February and I was STILL sick.  When I would start to feel better, it was like David's system would go "Ok... I can relax a bit" and then HE would get raging sick for a week at a time.  

As I said, bad times.

Let us move on to May 2009.  I was constantly on David's case to press the issue about his lack of hours, to find out why his benefits hadn't kicked in, to find out if this is how it was going to continue, to call HR, tell them how he'd left a dream job with Assistant Manager position, fulltime hours, and benefits AND commission, to go back to Le Chateau.  He told me he felt if he pushed any harder, he'd likely lose his job.  Gut feeling.

Third week of June 2009.  David calls HR in the morning around 11:00 to discuss everything regarding his employment.  Within two hours, he received his notice.  Of course, it was a "layoff": they just didn't have the hours to give him.  Of course, within a week or two, they had replaced him with someone else.  Of course, they lay him off when I am not working.  Of course when you apply for EI, they only count the past six months you worked, to determine how much EI you're eligible for.  Of course, that means they calculated on him barely working 25 hours a week.  Of course, I was beside myself.  Of course, this also screwed his resume up BIG time.  Now he had these short bursts of work, and can't even use the OC for his resume, which is REALLY a shame, since he really thrived there.  Because of how he left Le Shiteau (we have now moved into using its New Name), it's difficult to use them as a reference with confidence.  Oh, and also?  His benefits kicked in JUST in time for him to be "laid off", so he paid Le Chateau $50 off his paycheck for that, and of course never had time to take advantage of having benefits.  

That was 15 months ago.  And still no job.  It's driving me out of my mind.  (Not to mention him).  So, because I find it very hard to take no for an answer, and because I'm obsessing about all of this, I took action.  The first thing I did a couple of weeks ago was send an email to the manager of the OC, explaining to her my role in David having to leave their store.  It was honest and accurate, and I hoped that since they are once again hiring, that they may, after hearing my account of things, hire him back.  

The second thing I did, last Tuesday, was to go to talk to the new manager of the Le Chateau he had worked at.  I had seen they were hiring, so I went.  It took a LOT out of me to go and do it, but I thought it was worth a shot.  I knew he'd already given her a call so I figured he wouldn't mind if I went.  I went into the store, told her I knew David had called her, and would she be willing to sit and talk with me for a few minutes.  She was.  She listened to the whole story and was quite lovely about it.  She then asked me if I'd like to talk with the DM, who happened to be at the store that day.  Yes, of course, great.  

WHAT IS WITH DISTRICT MANAGERS OF COMPANIES?  They are so COLD and seemingly heartless.  As I repeated the story for her, it was like looking at a face of stone.  Stone Angel.  Minus the angel.  Even though she said all the right words "Oh, David was laid off for lack of work, he's welcome to re-apply", I could tell by the shifty looks between them, and the icy eyes she had for me, that this is not at ALL the case. It is a completely closed book.  

Well, good to know.  It doesn't really make me sad, it just makes me angry.  I don't understand how people can be so inhumane.  Also- you know another thing that makes me disappointed?  I have SO many memories of Le Chateau growing up. When I was a young n' chunky teenager, I longed to wear the slinky dresses and funky hats for which Le Chateau was so well-known.   I even had a super embarrassing black shiny vest from there.  I thought I was SO hot in that vest it was ridiculous.  And all the fun shopping trips with friends, trying on clothes and looking at all their fabulous jewelry?  Loved that!  Then a few years ago when I finally lost all that weight, the first place I went was Le Chateau.  I bought SO many new clothes there.  It was dreamlike really, finally being able to fit into ANYTHING in the store.  I have so many emotional connections with that store.  

And this has just KILLED IT.  

I know that might sound a bit sad, but hey, this is my blog so I guess I can feel and write whatever the heck I want.  I'm tired of making everything ok for everyone else, always being the upbeat one.  I hate what that piece of shit(eau) store did to David's confidence, and to our financial and emotional well-being.  I hold them quite responsible.  Not only did they screw him over for working at THEIR (overpriced cheaply-made merchandise) store, he lost the job he REALLY wanted to have at the Other Store.  Because he didn't want to stress me out further at the time, with me being sick and having a 2 1/2 month old, he went with what made it easier for me and in doing so, he lost not one but two jobs, screwed his resume up, and here we are, with me teaching kids who can't (won't?) even count to three, and parents fighting over having to pay $2 more a week for lessons than they were used to.  Don't EVEN.  

(Just a note, to be completely fair:  the majority of my students are awesome, as are pretty much all the parents.  I don't want to break the flow, but it would be unfair to NOT say that.)

Oh- ohohohoh- and one more thing.  After I sent that email to the manager of the OC, we had a chat.  Despite how nice she is (truly), it is out of her hands to ever give him another job for any store owned by that company.  

Nice.

To those of you who grew up like I did, being clueless about anything outside of the Bubble of Me and My Music, giving little to no consideration to other careers, let alone Lowly Retail- LISTEN TO ME.  There is no shame in not making your money from music.  There is also no shame in working in retail.   If David had kept his job (the 2nd one), she said he'd likely be a manager by now.  I know a lot of Educated People look down on retail jobs  (I know I unconsciously did), but if you're smart, have a good personality and are a hard worker, there is money to be made.  I won't compare numbers, but I could be making double what I make now and actually have a life, all from selling shoes.  

Oh my GAWD, shoes.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wCF3ywukQYA