Lipstick Jungle

So I fell on me face at one of the busiest intersections in the city this week.  I was all dolled up, loaded with stage makeup, all dressed in black, with a massive backpack on my back.  I was headed to play at Kiwanis.  On the bus.  So I almost missed my connecting bus to Kiwanis due to my falling.  Then I got to Kiwanis, and the person who was supposed to drive me wasn't there.  Even though the only reason I agreed to play was because she said she'd drive me straight to UWO after I played, because I had to play a masters recital right after the Kiwanis class.  So I was like 'Ok, the recital is in 45 minutes and I have no ride, i guess I'll take the bus'.  Then a massive tree fell over in front of the church, stopping all traffic on Ridout Street, including the bus I was about to take.

Kiwanis Tree 2012

Anyway I got a ride to UWO with the parents of the girl I played for (hate having to do that... HATE) (also dog hair in the car... so not their fault, but can't HANDLE) (esp on all  black recital wear!!)  ANYWAY I get to UWO and there's this mix-up about where the hellz the recital is going to be.  Ends up being where I thought, in Talbot, which has the worst acoustic ever.  Despise.  Despise so much.

Anyway I finally made it home safely.  The next day I tripped down a couple of stairs but thankfully did not wound myself.   Then I got a parking ticket at UWO saying I hadn't paid for parking when in fact I'd paid $18 and had the receipt displayed prominently and obviously on the dash.  Whatevs.

APPEAL.  SAY WHAAAAT?

Then today I left my dayplanner in a pew across the city, at Kiwanis, because my brain is floating around somewhere, doing something useful on another planet, I'm sure, but not serving me well here on planet Earth.

Starbucks has seriously been my saviour this week.  Cinnamon Dolce Latte HELLO.

Lovefest. 

Also today I bought a fun new lipstick.  I feel both joy and guilt over this.  Joy because HELLO NEW LIPSTICK EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!  And guilt because it's not organic or natural in any way and is loaded with lead and other shite.

    

Dude needs sleep.  Lipstick can't help those raccoon eyeballs.  Hurhur.

On a positive note, I got on board with this whole Jennifer Hudson Weight Watchers thang and frigg it's sweet.  Lost 10 lbs. quite effortlessly while eating nachos and salads and wings and starbucks galore. And by galore, I mean within the daily point allowance.  Oh, except for this past week, where I did not lose, but gained a couple of pounds because I ate carrot cake.  SO much carrot cake.  SO worth it. 

TOOOOOASHT!

The Fall Guy.

Omg, do you remember the show "The Fall Guy"?

Haaa!  Omg, why did I watch this again?  Well, if we're on the subject of amazing 80's television...

Wow.

DO YOU KNOW HOW IN LOVE I WAS WITH RICKY SCHRODER?  I begged Mom to take me to the Waterfront Mall (Towers mall, at the time, for the Summerside folks who get how hilarious that is), to Mac's Smokes almost every day after school in hopes that there would be a new edition of Bop, the Big Bopper, Teen Beat- ANYTHING with Ricky's photo in it.  I won't get into the story of how I sneakily used someone else's phone (and long distance) to call L.A. repeatedly in hopes that Ricky Schroder would answer the phone.  Let's just say I was apprehended and my allowance went to Bell Atlantic that month...


Movin' right along...

What was it to exist without watching and loving the Muppet Show!  And the Muppet Movies!  Genius.

Who didn't love Punky Brewster!?  You'd better believe I have the sheet music for THAT theme song.  What a great friggin' show.  Soleil Moon Frye, you rocked it gurrrl.

Fraggle Rock.  Now, I don't know if it was just me, but I just could not get into Fraggle Rock. I mean, I watched it because, hello, the Trash Heap was hilarious.  But Fraggle Rock just seemed to me a very inferior version of the Muppet Show.  Having said that, Benjamin's first stuffed doggie's name is Sprocket.   Long live Jim Henson.

And then there's was Flaming Road, the nighttime drama/soap featuring Mark Harmon of NCIS fame.

This show was well-loved and faithfully watched in our home until religious slash moral convictions finally put those flamingos to bed for good.  The show was only on the air for 2 years.  I wonder why?  I mean, look at that shirt!

Watched it secretly after school, pretending to just be "flicking through the stations"...  'Nuff said.

Becky, this one's for you.  General Hospital baby.  General Hospital.  God I loved Frisco Jones, like, he was my Ricky Schroder of the LATE 80's/early 90's.  The song "All I Need" sent me into orbit.  Screw NKOTB.  It was ALL about Jack Wagner my friends.  Oh, and I named my saxophone after him.  Yeah, I said that.

Now.  Who out there watched SNL in like, 1989, 1990, 1991?  Epic.



Wow.  I must have a seVERE case of ADHD or something (every teacher I have ever had could attest to this... kicked out of a few classes for disruptive behaviour?  Yeah.  Woopsies.) OH ANYWAY, yes, I was saying- I must have a severe case of ADD because I started out this blog with the word "Fall" in mind, simply because I wanted to say:

The Sears 2011 Fall & Winter catalogue is out Eeeheeheheheheheheheheeeee!!!

I.  love. Sears.  catalogues.  The sound of the pages rippling, the waft of the smell of the ink and pages.. omg.  The summer one is kinda fun, if you like heat and summer and all that shiz.  But if you love the fall, with all the latest sweaters and jeans and booties?  Don't friggin' EVEN.  I love the nasty pics (way too many embroidered items for my taste... see page 35, item G) and the fabulous pics (beautiful silver haired model on page 85.  Amazing.)  So go git yer catalogue and git sniffin'.

Oh also, we're getting married at the end of August.  But I s'pose that merits its own blog, oui?

Push It REAL Good.

It has been s'dang long since I've written a blog that I'm feelin' a little rusty.   I need to work up some hilarity and wit.  But for now... for all of you who love to cook a bad ass burger on the bar-B:  take a little trip (preferably on an LTC bus with all mah peeps) downtown to Jill's Table (J'ADORE) and get yourself one of these bad boys:

The Hamburger Press, by Hampton Direct. 

 

 

 

 

Get a big 'ole load of good ground beef, preferably drug-free (texture and taste are incomparable), throw in your fave flavours:  herbs, spices, bread crumbs, sauces, whatever you love, and shove it into the burger press, separating each delicious burger with its own little disc, and get pushin'.  Once you've got all your burgers made, freeze them on a tray and voila, ready-to-cook homemade, low-sodium, amazing, tasty, moist (ah!  horrible word alert!  horrible!) burgers.  While you're at Jill's, pick yourself up a couple of bottles of Kozlik's Canadian mustard- don't even get me STARTED on the "Sweet n' Smokey" flavour (swoon)- and git grillin'.


Told ya... I'm just warmin' up... have to get my writing mojo back.  Just wait for my Best Breakfast in London rant.  I'm on a breakfast-eating rampage lately, so I have a few good (men) stories to tell, including an enormously tall cross-dresser with a blond mullet, an eastern European waitress with giant lips (with bright pink lipstick- naturally), and where to find sausage that is delicious.  That's it, I'm out.  Goin' to read my Kindle (don't get me going on THAT either.  ADDICTED.)

 



 

Lethal Injection

I have known for years not to trust "health care" and cosmetic companies.  When I was 14 I started buying Tom's of Maine toothpaste and seeking out more natural moisturizers.  But I am a super-sucker for marketing and advertising, and quickly pushed aside the info I'd read about the toxins and contaminants companies put in their beauty and skin care products.  Also a tube of Crest on sale at Shoppers Drug Mart is cheaper than a $7 tube of Tom's of Maine cinnamon toothpaste.

So, as I am very good at doing, I pushed the info to a corner of my brain and have kept it there until now.

I was listening to Gillian Deacon, author of "There's Lead in Your Lipstick", being interviewed on CBC Radio (Good God in heaven I adore CBC radio).  I was sitting in the parking lot at Shoppers Drug Mart, the rain drizzling on the windshield, and I couldn't get out until I'd listened to the rest of the interview.  Let's just say the items I'd planned on buying at SDM did not come home with me.  As I listened to Gillian talk about so many of the things I'd already known, I felt that I had to listen to this information.  Then she said it.  She said "You know, there's lead in our lipstick, but because lead is considered a toxin instead of an inGREdient, companies are not required to list it in the ingredient list."

EXCUSE ME?


That was it.  I came home, threw out my $5 tubes of Revlon and Rimmel, cheap makeup removers, and eyeshadows full of carcinogenic talc.  The thought of the toxins leaching through my eyelid skin is totally freaking me out.  Obviously you can't ditch all your makeup at once unless you've got the money to go and totally re-stock, but I've started the process.  I went down to QuarterMaster in Wortley (Good God in heaven I adore Wortley Village) to see what they carried along the lines of natural, organic makeup.

Lavera.  Lavera NaturKosmetik- yes, it's German.  I can spell it with "K"s and it's legit, not cheezy.  (Krazy Kwilts anyone?  Buh.)

Fabulous.

I bought a chocolate-y brown eyeliner, and an awesome lipstick ... a vibrant pinkey-purple in a sexy black tube... loving it.  Best lipstick I have ever owned.  Goes on like silk, feels amazing, and lasts for hours.  And the liner?  Smooth.  AND it has a little blending sponge on the other end.  And the price is no more than the Lise Watier liner I buy at SDM.  In fact, cheaper.  The lipstick is more costly than Rimmel, but cheaper than the luxury brands.  The price to our well-being and family's well-being?  Priceless.  I am choosing to buy fewer products, but ones that are much higher quality, and that won't give me scary diseases.

http://www.lavera.com/


Folks- ditch your Rimmel makeup remover and go and get yourself a tube of Green Beaver all-natural makeup remover.  I could not believe how little I had to use.  I just moistened (hate that word) one of those makeup-remover cotton pad thingies, put a tiny bit of the GB remover, and that's all I needed for very easy, quick and complete removal of eyeshadows, liner, pencil and mascara.  Unreal.  And cheaper than the expensive crap I'd bought at the drugstore that all the models say they love.

Suck on THAT.

The couple who started up the Green Beaver Company (Canadian, from eastern Ontario,  love that) were both scientists who quit their jobs and started the Green Beaver company so their kids would have healthy body washes and skincare.  I had to get past the name of the company, and the fact that it looks kind of outdoors-y and woodsy (HATE)... I like my tubes and potions to be pretty and pink and black and gold and everything.  So I had to put that aside.  I don't like that the makeup remover is in a tube like toothpaste.  But you know, I can deal because holy FRIGG it works and I don't feel like I'm burning my eyes every night when I take my makeup off, and giving myself macular degeneration and who knows what else.  I need to smarten up and deal, and there that is.

You KNOW that when I get on a bandwagon about something, I'm very pushy about it (hopefully in a hilarious way), but seriously, I am going to be driving everyone CRAZY with this. This poisoning and deception needs to stop.


Here are some links to (many Canadian) companies who sell all-organic, truly natural cosmetics and skincare and laundry products:

http://www.lavera.com/

http://www.greenbeaver.com/  

http://greenerchoices.org/ 

http://www.leapingbunny.org/indexcus.php 

 http://safecosmetics.org/

http://www.cosmeticsdatabase.com/ 

 http://www.intelligentnutrients.com/

http://drhauschka.com/ 

http://aubrey-organics.com/

http://www.drbronner.com/  (creepiest looking guy ever!)

http://www.actnaturals.com/ 

http://www.afterglowcosmetics.com/rh/Organic-cosmetics-Canada.asp

http://www.tintsofnatureusa.com/index.html 

That should do until my next rant... which will be more raving about all the amazing new SAFE and fun and gorgeous products we've bought. In the meanwhile we will be purging our cancer-causing makeup, Head n' Shoulders, moisturizers, cleaners- you name it.  GONZO. 

THE AGENCY MODELS: New images of Christine

THE AGENCY MODELS: New images of Christine: "Amazing shot of Christine by London's own Dana Brushette! Model: Christine Photography: Dana Brushette MUA: Tanya Ellis Wardr..."

Monsters Inc.

I bought a new pair of jeans and I feel like I'm on (Carpenters reference coming:)  top of the world.  Time for a Carpenters video (1991 remix, no less):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q0G-c4QDMzU


Oh, that's right, I LOVE Karen Carpenter, and I suppose by association, Richard Carpenter, though seeing The Karen Carpenter Story (50 times or so) kind of made me anti Richard.  ANYWAYS (get that "s" off of there!) I think it's already obvious that this blog is going to be pretty incoherent and rather, to use a very overused word, "random".


Back to the jeans.  I have already told you that since the Hamburglar invaded our home, I want to shop 'til I drop.

So last Wednesday, I had a couple of hours and went to the Bay to get a couple of watch batteries.  I always think that The Bay is going to be expensive, but I always end up finding some of my favorite items there, and often at extremely reasonable prices.  I love "kersh", "kensie", "INC", "Jessica Simpson".... DID YOU SAY "INC" and "JESSICA SIMPSON"?  Well then let me tell you:  I found an awesome pair of jeans by INC. (which I can fit into again Praise the Lord Above) and they even have big-ass pockets on the back, to create the illusion of actually having one.  AND?  They have shiny rhinestone-y buttons on all the pockets.  (Squeal?)


 http://www.macys.com/catalog/product/index.ognc?ID=477953&BannerID=PD437&PartnerID=LINKSHARE&LinkshareID=neQRQBqOKtQ-a1fuf4iDMgEfEu8lo39OfQ



And don't even get me goin' about the Jessica Simpson top I found.  Regular $64 (so not worth it), marked half price, and then at the cash, further reduced to $22.  (Looks better on me, p.s.):

Now listen- you could go to a cheaper store and find a cheaply made, gross-feeling shirt for $22.  But why not go to The Bay!?  Love it. 

Next topic:  having an alarm system is the best thing ever.  For $25 a month, and free installation, we have an Alarm Force alarm system that kicks every monster's ass.  Benjamin is sleeping again, IN HIS ROOM, and for like 9 hours a night.  He knows that the alarm system keeps the monsters out and what a difference it has made.  I can sleep again.  David can sleep again.  It's like having this constant invisible superhero laser shield around your house.  I can't stress enough how valuable this is.  When you go away, you don't have to impose on a friend, asking them to look after your house so it looks like someone's home.  Why should they have the responsibility of the safety of your home?  I always hate asking people to do that.  And when you're sleeping, you don't have to listen to Tiny Night Noises because you know you have an alarm system that will go off if someone tries anything stupid. 

Love.

Next topic:  I've added up the replacement value of the jewelry I lost.  I can't even bring myself to write how much but OMG.  Let's just say insurance only covers $4000, and that comes nowhere close.  Apparently the price of gold really HAS gone up.  Holy frigg.  So that is just another reason to take legal action with UPS.  I've already spoken with the folks at the faculty of law at UWO to get legal advice, and I am going to set up a consultation with a lawyer downtown to see how much of a case we have.  But pretty much everyone I've talked to is shocked at the negligence UPS showed at leaving a big 'ole sticker on our front door, the DAY BEFORE CHRISTMAS, announcing that we were away.  And leaving the package at the back door, to boot.  Unreal.  Oh, and guess what? They were here again the other day when I was home and didn't even ring the doorbell, but decided to leave the handvac I ordered IN THE FRONT PORCH, on the floor, with no notification whatsoever.  Another $100 lost if someone had walked in and seen it.  Unreal again!  And David's aunt ordered a Dyson vacuum cleaner awhile back, and UPS delivered it... AND LEFT IT OUTSIDE ON HER FRONT STEP!!!!  Are you SERIOUS?

I need another cup of coffee.