T Cozy.

I haven't written in ages, and I think it's because I don't know what to write about.  Also not much time and extremely tired, but mostly, I don't know what to say.  If I talk about how much I love snow, I will get the haters all riled up.  I don't feel like talking about anything.  All I want to do is sit and stare out the window at the snow and sit next to the tree.  I have eaten enough sweets and drank enough coffee to last about 2 months, and still somehow, have lost 10 pounds (I think that happened before the sweet-eating began ... yes?)  In any case, it's like a heavy dark grey blanket has been lifted off and I can enjoy things again.  I have all my gifts bought, wrapped, and shipped.  All cards are written, sent, and handed out.  Recital program ready to print.  Parties planned, food bought. 

It's bizarre.

Is this how people are used to feeling?

See what I mean?  Despite my clear mind, I don't feel like I have anything to say.  I could talk about the fundraiser last Sunday night, but don't yet have the energy.  I just feel content.  No super-highs or super-lows.  Just good.  Calm.  There is something to be said for just being content, not needing a rush of adrenaline all the time.  The constant adrenaline rush constantly takes you out of the moment.  I think it's avoidance.  Or something.  But again, not feeling like thinking too much. 

Quynh Nhi pad thai is so delicious I can't stand it.  Went with Lori on Friday, then went to the Bay.   It was so bizarre being in a mall.   I feel like I haven't been anywhere public in months. It was nice just being around other PEOPLE, non-music-related-people.  People who don't associate me with a piano.  Just talking about clothes and "Do you think this colour would look good on my daughter?" kind of comments.  Love that.  People are so sweet.  I just stood in between the racks of pyjamas at The Bay and watched all these lovely women- all ages, sizes, backgrounds, personalities, and senses of fashion (or yes, lack thereof)- and watched them choose gifts for the special people in their lives.  Some people say Christmas isn't about presents, but when I watched the smiling faces buying robes for their daughter-in-laws, I almost cried.  It was so "human", seeing how deeply these ladies cared about the small details of the items they were buying, wanting to bring much joy as possible to someone they care about. 

I know I'm idealizing everything because it's snowing but maybe that is WHY I love snow so much.  You would NEVER see this happen in July.  Summer, you can SUCK IT.