I have a couple of things to put out there tonight for all you Non-Stick girls:
 |
| YES!! |
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| Je loving it. |
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| HELLO. Yeah. |
aaaaaand....
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| Need. This. Dress. |
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Meltdown
That has to be the most misleading blog title ever because there's no drama here tonight.
People, what is the deal with Garnier Fructis Instant Melting Masque"? Like, holy frigg this stuff is like Instant Hair Silk, seriously. I got a sample somewhere along the way (I am a sample and coupon-collecting FIEND), and finally got around to using it the other day. Silk. Give it a whirl. Tilt-a-whirl.
People, what is the deal with Garnier Fructis Instant Melting Masque"? Like, holy frigg this stuff is like Instant Hair Silk, seriously. I got a sample somewhere along the way (I am a sample and coupon-collecting FIEND), and finally got around to using it the other day. Silk. Give it a whirl. Tilt-a-whirl.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
30 Roch
(Click, and play this video in the background for ultimate listening pleasure...)
Don't even talk to me about how much I love Roch Voisine.
Yeah.
It all started with the Kissing Rain CD which I listened to incessantly day and night during 4th year undergrad. Despite the mocking and tormenting, I stayed true.
BEST ALBUM EVER. "Deliver Me"? Don't even.
To all those who do not share my obsession, you are missing out my friends.
You are missing OUT.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
KFC: Show me some skin!
I loathe picnics, and most group activities. I think the discomfort I experience in group settings comes from a) being overweight as a kid, b) being super sensitive and socially uncomfortable as a kid, c) being an Only Child, d) did I mention being overweight as a kid?
So this weekend I made myself go to a family picnic (David's family, obvs.). I had a list of reasons why I couldn't go. Too much work to do. Too tired. Hate water fights and beach games and whatever other embarrassing activities which might take place and make me look like a fool. (Let's not discuss gym class or physical activities, I think we all know how THAT turned out.) I thought I was getting sick (totally psychological). They'd have more fun without me there ruining it by my non-fun-ness. You name it, I likely had it on my list.
But I went.
It did not start well. I loathe being late for ANYthing. I am always at least 15 minutes earlier for EVERYthing. I need that time to settle into the environment, get a feel for who's around me and get a sense of the vibe.
We got there 1.5 hours late. Everyone was waiting for us. The food was cold.
Now, in my experience of group picnics (sometimes with family, but mostly church picnics over the years), everyone lays out the food, and if you get there late, sucks to be you type deal. So I ASSUMED this would be the same.
Talk about embarrassing. I was sitting there in the car, totally mortified, deciding whether just to drop them off, then TAKE off so I wouldn't have to face the commentary and passive aggressive messages about people having to wait for us, etc.
But something made me stay. And I am so glad I did.
It's funny how our past experiences almost completely colour our present and potentially future experiences. It took me about an hour and a half before I realized there was going to be no verbal punishment for our late arrival. About 3 hours in, I realized I wasn't going to be forced to run around averting water guns. It was just about being there. With family. Doing nothing except BEING. And eating KFC chicken. Which I couldn't have (the GALL!)
Ok, can I just take a moment to discuss the gloriousness and grossness of KFC chicken and its skin? I would have loved to peel (eww) all the skin off the chicken pieces and just eat it ALL. What kind of crack do they put IN that stuff, seriously?
Ok, back to doing nothing. Being and nothingness. Everyone was just sitting around relaxing, enjoying being with each other. Like in a movie or something. Watching our son playing in the water with his grandparents... how do you describe THAT? There's the lump in the throat...
I don't really know what the heck I'm writing about tonight. But I know that I made myself do something uncomfortable this weekend, something I dreaded BASED ON THE PAST. Because I made THAT choice, I had two great days where I didn't think about work (well, I at least TRIED not to think about it... that counts doesn't it?), and I really feel so much closer with everyone that was at the picnic. Ughhh... even the word... pick... nick. Yuck. Picnic. How's about Outdoor Feast. Ahhh, there it is. ;)
You know what, I'm going to go on a rant about phys. ed. class tomorrow. Phys Ed class, and the "Dining Hall" skipping song. Don't even GO there. Omg, that's going to be hilarious.
So this weekend I made myself go to a family picnic (David's family, obvs.). I had a list of reasons why I couldn't go. Too much work to do. Too tired. Hate water fights and beach games and whatever other embarrassing activities which might take place and make me look like a fool. (Let's not discuss gym class or physical activities, I think we all know how THAT turned out.) I thought I was getting sick (totally psychological). They'd have more fun without me there ruining it by my non-fun-ness. You name it, I likely had it on my list.
But I went.
It did not start well. I loathe being late for ANYthing. I am always at least 15 minutes earlier for EVERYthing. I need that time to settle into the environment, get a feel for who's around me and get a sense of the vibe.
We got there 1.5 hours late. Everyone was waiting for us. The food was cold.
Now, in my experience of group picnics (sometimes with family, but mostly church picnics over the years), everyone lays out the food, and if you get there late, sucks to be you type deal. So I ASSUMED this would be the same.
Talk about embarrassing. I was sitting there in the car, totally mortified, deciding whether just to drop them off, then TAKE off so I wouldn't have to face the commentary and passive aggressive messages about people having to wait for us, etc.
But something made me stay. And I am so glad I did.
It's funny how our past experiences almost completely colour our present and potentially future experiences. It took me about an hour and a half before I realized there was going to be no verbal punishment for our late arrival. About 3 hours in, I realized I wasn't going to be forced to run around averting water guns. It was just about being there. With family. Doing nothing except BEING. And eating KFC chicken. Which I couldn't have (the GALL!)
Ok, can I just take a moment to discuss the gloriousness and grossness of KFC chicken and its skin? I would have loved to peel (eww) all the skin off the chicken pieces and just eat it ALL. What kind of crack do they put IN that stuff, seriously?
Ok, back to doing nothing. Being and nothingness. Everyone was just sitting around relaxing, enjoying being with each other. Like in a movie or something. Watching our son playing in the water with his grandparents... how do you describe THAT? There's the lump in the throat...
I don't really know what the heck I'm writing about tonight. But I know that I made myself do something uncomfortable this weekend, something I dreaded BASED ON THE PAST. Because I made THAT choice, I had two great days where I didn't think about work (well, I at least TRIED not to think about it... that counts doesn't it?), and I really feel so much closer with everyone that was at the picnic. Ughhh... even the word... pick... nick. Yuck. Picnic. How's about Outdoor Feast. Ahhh, there it is. ;)
You know what, I'm going to go on a rant about phys. ed. class tomorrow. Phys Ed class, and the "Dining Hall" skipping song. Don't even GO there. Omg, that's going to be hilarious.
 |
| The SuperSoaker |
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Mad Men = Mad Women
For months I've been reading about this ridiculously amazing show called Mad Men. All I knew about it was that everyone's going mad about the costumes.
I have finally watched it. Almost through Season One.
O. M. G.
When I watch this show, I feel sick. But I can't STOP.
For someone who was brought up thinking feminism was a horrible, ungodly thing (I had no opinions and very little knowledge of my own), this show is a huge reminder about how free we are now (women living in this part of the world that is). Of course, like everything, things are often taken to the exTREME. But seriously, we need to remember how things were for us, and not that long ago.
I can't even talk about it more, it has to be watched. Every woman should watch this show to REMEMBER. Every episode is like a mini remembrance day for women.
I have finally watched it. Almost through Season One.
O. M. G.
When I watch this show, I feel sick. But I can't STOP.
For someone who was brought up thinking feminism was a horrible, ungodly thing (I had no opinions and very little knowledge of my own), this show is a huge reminder about how free we are now (women living in this part of the world that is). Of course, like everything, things are often taken to the exTREME. But seriously, we need to remember how things were for us, and not that long ago.
I can't even talk about it more, it has to be watched. Every woman should watch this show to REMEMBER. Every episode is like a mini remembrance day for women.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
One Republic
So I need to apologize, or at least want to.
The friend of mine, who is a very good friend, a true, no bull-crap friend, is not pleased with how I portrayed her in my last blog (My Bad). Though what I wrote was accurate about her comments- that I sounded angry, and victim-y- for Readers of the Blog, who know nothing of her, or our relationship, those comments came across as harsh, and were out of context. Because I know that no one has a clue who I'm referring to, I didn't think it would matter that I didn't soften my delivery of the info. I am so used to super-softening most of my deliveries that part of the refreshing part of this blog is that I DON'T do that. So I didn't, and I hurt someone amazing. Not my intent.
The comments about sounding angry, and being a victim to circumstance, were, in later emails, expanded and clarified: you have a lot of talent. You have a lot of support from friends. You are smart. You have business opportunities laid out in front of you: take them. Don't remain a victim to past and present circumstances. You are loved.
Because I know HER, I knew that context withOUT further emails. But I feel I need to say that, and recognize it publicly.
Now I'm going to go back to my original "Toenails" blog, where all this started. I still mean every word of it. Since writing it, I've gotten emails, Facebook messages, and phone calls, telling me how good it felt to read what I wrote. One girl I talked to told me about her experience in university (singing). When she finished her studies, and found out what this lifestyle entailed, she also found out she had very few other developed skills. In the music world, because you spend pretty much all your time practicing, rehearsing, and with other musicians, you often (usually) lose touch with the rest of the world. Because of this, you lose touch with the skills needed to function in anything non-musical, unless you want to spend the rest of your days working in retail trying to make enough money to support your auditions (headshots, audition fees, pianist, travel fees, money for food, etc) The sad thing is, you don't know any of this until often it's too late. By the time you've finished your undergrad, and often your masters (because seriously, what ELSE are you going to do with a performance degree but go on to get your masters degree), you've spent all your money on education and auditions, and now you have no money to go back to school to train for something that will give you skills to support yourself.
Also I want to say one more thing. I don't feel like a victim. Am I frustrated that I didn't know more of this earlier in life? Yes, definitely. If I had, I would be under WAY less stress. At the same time, without lessening what I just said, I also am thankful for what I've gone through over the years, because it has made me very sensitive to people. It has also made me a better business person, and has taught me a lot about getting real and facing the realities of life. And MY realities, even the hard ones, are WAY - HAYYYYY less than half the globe's realities. So suck on that, me.
Having said THAT, I live where I live, and I am NOT half the globe (although sometimes I feel like it... effing tight pants...) Though I'm frustrated with a lot right now, and finally admitting it, I don't feel like a victim. If I did, I'd be sitting around, surrounded by heaps of music books, in a corner of my studio, moping. I wouldn't be planning for the coming year, and making my studio the best it can possibly be. I wouldn't be constantly looking for extra work. I wouldn't be already organized for the fall. I have worked HARD for the past 10 years to make a career for myself. I prepare hard, I play hard, and I care hard. That sounded SUPER-cheezy, but it's exactly the truth. Sometimes I do everything SO hard that it makes me sick and in pain. So I need to stop doing that. Instead of remaining a victim of my circumstances, I'm creating and accepting new opportunities that come my way, professionally and personally.
But I'm still thinking about those OPI colours...
The friend of mine, who is a very good friend, a true, no bull-crap friend, is not pleased with how I portrayed her in my last blog (My Bad). Though what I wrote was accurate about her comments- that I sounded angry, and victim-y- for Readers of the Blog, who know nothing of her, or our relationship, those comments came across as harsh, and were out of context. Because I know that no one has a clue who I'm referring to, I didn't think it would matter that I didn't soften my delivery of the info. I am so used to super-softening most of my deliveries that part of the refreshing part of this blog is that I DON'T do that. So I didn't, and I hurt someone amazing. Not my intent.
The comments about sounding angry, and being a victim to circumstance, were, in later emails, expanded and clarified: you have a lot of talent. You have a lot of support from friends. You are smart. You have business opportunities laid out in front of you: take them. Don't remain a victim to past and present circumstances. You are loved.
Because I know HER, I knew that context withOUT further emails. But I feel I need to say that, and recognize it publicly.
Now I'm going to go back to my original "Toenails" blog, where all this started. I still mean every word of it. Since writing it, I've gotten emails, Facebook messages, and phone calls, telling me how good it felt to read what I wrote. One girl I talked to told me about her experience in university (singing). When she finished her studies, and found out what this lifestyle entailed, she also found out she had very few other developed skills. In the music world, because you spend pretty much all your time practicing, rehearsing, and with other musicians, you often (usually) lose touch with the rest of the world. Because of this, you lose touch with the skills needed to function in anything non-musical, unless you want to spend the rest of your days working in retail trying to make enough money to support your auditions (headshots, audition fees, pianist, travel fees, money for food, etc) The sad thing is, you don't know any of this until often it's too late. By the time you've finished your undergrad, and often your masters (because seriously, what ELSE are you going to do with a performance degree but go on to get your masters degree), you've spent all your money on education and auditions, and now you have no money to go back to school to train for something that will give you skills to support yourself.
Also I want to say one more thing. I don't feel like a victim. Am I frustrated that I didn't know more of this earlier in life? Yes, definitely. If I had, I would be under WAY less stress. At the same time, without lessening what I just said, I also am thankful for what I've gone through over the years, because it has made me very sensitive to people. It has also made me a better business person, and has taught me a lot about getting real and facing the realities of life. And MY realities, even the hard ones, are WAY - HAYYYYY less than half the globe's realities. So suck on that, me.
Having said THAT, I live where I live, and I am NOT half the globe (although sometimes I feel like it... effing tight pants...) Though I'm frustrated with a lot right now, and finally admitting it, I don't feel like a victim. If I did, I'd be sitting around, surrounded by heaps of music books, in a corner of my studio, moping. I wouldn't be planning for the coming year, and making my studio the best it can possibly be. I wouldn't be constantly looking for extra work. I wouldn't be already organized for the fall. I have worked HARD for the past 10 years to make a career for myself. I prepare hard, I play hard, and I care hard. That sounded SUPER-cheezy, but it's exactly the truth. Sometimes I do everything SO hard that it makes me sick and in pain. So I need to stop doing that. Instead of remaining a victim of my circumstances, I'm creating and accepting new opportunities that come my way, professionally and personally.
But I'm still thinking about those OPI colours...
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
"My Bad"
I just want to clarify something about the blog I wrote yesterday entitled "Toenails". I just got an email from the girl I was out to dinner with, who told me about Waxing Girl that I told the story about.
Apparently I misunderstood the amount of money the girl makes. The spa takes half her income, so she is only left with like $1500-$2000/month to take home. The other half goes to rent. This makes more sense to me. I really didn't get that from the original conversation and I feel I need to clarify that to make my blog as accurate as possible.
The more upsetting part of the email is that she told me I'm angry, and because of my anger, my perspective is skewed, and that I'm acting like a victim.
This is such a different response than all others I've received, I'm not sure where to "put" that. I did not intend to sound angry, victim-y or entitled. I'm just very frustrated that I was brought up princess-y, expecting to play the piano and marry some rich suit-wearing international evangelist. You can only squeeze yourself into someone else's mold(s) for so long before you crack. Unless you never crack. Then you REALLY crack, you just may not recognize it.
I'm glad I recognize it.
Feelings?
Apparently I misunderstood the amount of money the girl makes. The spa takes half her income, so she is only left with like $1500-$2000/month to take home. The other half goes to rent. This makes more sense to me. I really didn't get that from the original conversation and I feel I need to clarify that to make my blog as accurate as possible.
The more upsetting part of the email is that she told me I'm angry, and because of my anger, my perspective is skewed, and that I'm acting like a victim.
This is such a different response than all others I've received, I'm not sure where to "put" that. I did not intend to sound angry, victim-y or entitled. I'm just very frustrated that I was brought up princess-y, expecting to play the piano and marry some rich suit-wearing international evangelist. You can only squeeze yourself into someone else's mold(s) for so long before you crack. Unless you never crack. Then you REALLY crack, you just may not recognize it.
I'm glad I recognize it.
Feelings?
Monday, August 9, 2010
Toenails.
Sometimes I wonder why I don't just get a job as a secretary and ditch this whole music business. When I look at the amount of work I've put in, and then balance it with the returning "wealth" (can you hear the laughter?), I really think it's time to throw in the towel.
Sometimes I wonder why I didn't know ANYTHING about ANYTHING besides music growing up. I read books, I was smart, I did well at school, and I could sight-read like CRAZY. Everyone thought I was amazing. Same with undergrad. A little less with the next degree, but that just made me work harder to prove I had "it" (apparently you can't sight-read EVERYthing. What is up with that? ;) )
Then you finish school. No one had ever told me that I might want to have something else in my life beyond playing the piano to make money. I'm not really blaming anyone, but over the past 3-4 years, I have really starting wondering: Where are the Truth-tellers? Whose responsibility is it to teach kids and students the realities of making a life for yourself?
I mean, I'm one of the "good ones", and still, making enough to live is almost impossible. Is this too honest for a blog? I don't care. People need to think about this stuff. I see all these singers and musicians who think they are amazing, or maybe even ARE amazing (rare), and there's no real sense of urgency ... no recognition even... of the facts of life: it takes money to live, and singing and playing the piano doesn't do it. IN GENERAL. There are always exceptions of course. If you are single, then you can devote your life to it and maybe make a go of it, if you're willing to live the lifestyle and make the sacrifices. If you are married, hopefully your other half makes lots of money so you can run around singing and playing, gratifying The Artiste in you. If you want to add kids to the mix, you'd better have family living nearby or with you, because good luck finding good babysitters. And good luck paying for them. Or, maybe you just have a rich daddy and are clueless about pretty much everything. Then you don't have to worry about ANYthing. Did I just throw up a little? Yep, did.
Sometimes I wonder if maybe I should delete this blog because I sound angry in it and it's not funny. That's another thing. GET REAL. We need to get real. Tell people the truth. Get a JOB people. Like I don't understand everyone being told to run around the globe doing summer programs. I understand it in theory, like, who doesn't want to go to Italy in the summer to sing and eat European bread? (Well, I'd rather Iceland, but you know what I'm sayin'.) And it IS a fantastic experience. But how many exPEriences does one NEED? When you're 75 years old, we'll all be wishing we'd eaten out a little less, traveled a little less, so that we can still have a life in the older years (especially those who are self-employed.)
I see all of these students who would LOVE to sing and learn and "experience" all summer, but who just absolutely can't do it financially. They need to WORK to pay for school and room and board and food and tuition and coachings and groceries. And that's not a BAD thing. That isn't a SHAME. It's REAL. GET REAL!! I see talented, hard-working people without the means to pursue what other much-less-talented, much-lazier people easily enjoy. And hey, that's life. But I'll tell you, you'd better be super-talented AND super-organized AND not an idiot to work with, because God help you if you expect to make a living at this.
A couple of weeks ago, I was out with a good friend of mine. We were talking about life, work, kidlets, schedules, shoes (hello!) and money. She told me about this girl she knows that pays $2000/month for rent, just for her business. Her business is waxing peoples' "areas". Their private bits, if you wish.
I just sat there. I thought, 'This girl is paying more in business rent than I can make in an entire year', and has ample left to live on.
Why did I not KNOW this? Why am I so IGNORANT to how the real world works? What the heck is with this music bubble? What can I change? Maybe I should just start painting peoples' toenails for a living. I would likely make way more money, with benefits and everything, working for a spa painting peoples' nails and having great chats all day, making people feel great and serving them coffee.
Why have I wrecked my body for this? Why do I put myself through the stress year after year?
Because I love it. I love the students. (Well, most of the students.) I love the teachers (well, a few of the teachers.) I love the rush of performing with James, my delicious-voiced baritone friend. I love the audience's response to a show that has sizzling energy. I love seeing someone finally grasp a concept I've been trying to explain for weeks, and how happy they are when they SEE it. I love seeing someone who has struggled in their life, in their art, making a breakthrough personally and artistically. I live for those moments.
I would also live for not having to worry constantly about everything, including the future. So for this reason, toenail painting is still looking pretty appealing. Maybe I can be one of those people who comes up with the names for the O.P.I. colours. That would still be creative, right?
Sometimes I wonder why I didn't know ANYTHING about ANYTHING besides music growing up. I read books, I was smart, I did well at school, and I could sight-read like CRAZY. Everyone thought I was amazing. Same with undergrad. A little less with the next degree, but that just made me work harder to prove I had "it" (apparently you can't sight-read EVERYthing. What is up with that? ;) )
Then you finish school. No one had ever told me that I might want to have something else in my life beyond playing the piano to make money. I'm not really blaming anyone, but over the past 3-4 years, I have really starting wondering: Where are the Truth-tellers? Whose responsibility is it to teach kids and students the realities of making a life for yourself?
I mean, I'm one of the "good ones", and still, making enough to live is almost impossible. Is this too honest for a blog? I don't care. People need to think about this stuff. I see all these singers and musicians who think they are amazing, or maybe even ARE amazing (rare), and there's no real sense of urgency ... no recognition even... of the facts of life: it takes money to live, and singing and playing the piano doesn't do it. IN GENERAL. There are always exceptions of course. If you are single, then you can devote your life to it and maybe make a go of it, if you're willing to live the lifestyle and make the sacrifices. If you are married, hopefully your other half makes lots of money so you can run around singing and playing, gratifying The Artiste in you. If you want to add kids to the mix, you'd better have family living nearby or with you, because good luck finding good babysitters. And good luck paying for them. Or, maybe you just have a rich daddy and are clueless about pretty much everything. Then you don't have to worry about ANYthing. Did I just throw up a little? Yep, did.
Sometimes I wonder if maybe I should delete this blog because I sound angry in it and it's not funny. That's another thing. GET REAL. We need to get real. Tell people the truth. Get a JOB people. Like I don't understand everyone being told to run around the globe doing summer programs. I understand it in theory, like, who doesn't want to go to Italy in the summer to sing and eat European bread? (Well, I'd rather Iceland, but you know what I'm sayin'.) And it IS a fantastic experience. But how many exPEriences does one NEED? When you're 75 years old, we'll all be wishing we'd eaten out a little less, traveled a little less, so that we can still have a life in the older years (especially those who are self-employed.)
I see all of these students who would LOVE to sing and learn and "experience" all summer, but who just absolutely can't do it financially. They need to WORK to pay for school and room and board and food and tuition and coachings and groceries. And that's not a BAD thing. That isn't a SHAME. It's REAL. GET REAL!! I see talented, hard-working people without the means to pursue what other much-less-talented, much-lazier people easily enjoy. And hey, that's life. But I'll tell you, you'd better be super-talented AND super-organized AND not an idiot to work with, because God help you if you expect to make a living at this.
A couple of weeks ago, I was out with a good friend of mine. We were talking about life, work, kidlets, schedules, shoes (hello!) and money. She told me about this girl she knows that pays $2000/month for rent, just for her business. Her business is waxing peoples' "areas". Their private bits, if you wish.
I just sat there. I thought, 'This girl is paying more in business rent than I can make in an entire year', and has ample left to live on.
Why did I not KNOW this? Why am I so IGNORANT to how the real world works? What the heck is with this music bubble? What can I change? Maybe I should just start painting peoples' toenails for a living. I would likely make way more money, with benefits and everything, working for a spa painting peoples' nails and having great chats all day, making people feel great and serving them coffee.
Why have I wrecked my body for this? Why do I put myself through the stress year after year?
Because I love it. I love the students. (Well, most of the students.) I love the teachers (well, a few of the teachers.) I love the rush of performing with James, my delicious-voiced baritone friend. I love the audience's response to a show that has sizzling energy. I love seeing someone finally grasp a concept I've been trying to explain for weeks, and how happy they are when they SEE it. I love seeing someone who has struggled in their life, in their art, making a breakthrough personally and artistically. I live for those moments.
I would also live for not having to worry constantly about everything, including the future. So for this reason, toenail painting is still looking pretty appealing. Maybe I can be one of those people who comes up with the names for the O.P.I. colours. That would still be creative, right?
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Vanilla ice.
Because we had company for supper, I took that as a sign that I was to make dessert. I mean, seriously, I have to be a good hostess, yes?
Chocolate chip cookies with SO much vanilla splashed about in them.
Tonight I apparently give higher esteem to chocolate than to a decrease in poundage. It's that clear. Until I want to lose weight more than I want to make reasons to eat cookies, things won't change.
That's kind of freeing actually, because it puts it all under my control.
On a very fun note: The September issue of Elle Canada has come in the mail. I think y'all can guess how I feel about that.
(EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Chocolate chip cookies with SO much vanilla splashed about in them.
Tonight I apparently give higher esteem to chocolate than to a decrease in poundage. It's that clear. Until I want to lose weight more than I want to make reasons to eat cookies, things won't change.
That's kind of freeing actually, because it puts it all under my control.
On a very fun note: The September issue of Elle Canada has come in the mail. I think y'all can guess how I feel about that.
(EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Walk with Tan.
Walking is awesome. I really dislike (thumb down) exercise. Yet, when I do it, I love it.
About a month ago I started using www.sparkpeople.com for REALZ, tracking food and changing my thinking. I need to stop being ALL or NOTHING about EVERYTHING. THAT is my hugest (yes, hugest) obstacle to being at my optimal weight, and hugest obstacle to, well, pretty much everything. I am the type that goes, "Ah FRIGG, I ate a bite of that cake. Why did I go and do that. Why did I have to RUIN THE DAY. Well, I've ruined it now. I might as well eat the whole effing cake." Or this brilliant one: "I can't do that better than everyone else in the whole world, so why even bother trying." And the classic: "I can't sight-read that perfectly and instantly. What is WRONG with me. I suck."
Yeah.
No more. This is literally the first time in my life that I feel my thinking is starting to clarify and stabilize. Becoming less extreme is something I've always heard talked about (often in the context of "You know, you really do need to be less extreme about everything"), but never cared to change because it was FUN being extreme. Until it affected my health and happiness. So screw being extreme. I'm totally going 100% all-out NON-extreme.
Hee hee.
So I've started walking 10 minutes a day. And because I feel so good about myself for walking 10 minutes a day, I've started doing weights 10 minutes a day. Except that it's not just 10 minutes. I'm enjoying myself (and my tunes) so much, the walk turns into 20 minutes (and sometimes, yes, sometimes even into a JOG!!! Ya, I KNOW.) And don't get me going on how much I love weights. I used to go to the gym all the time and I lived for the weights (Kurt, that was for you). Talk about feeling STRONG. Love it.
So today, even though I ate pad thai and fresh rolls, I walked for 15 minutes, and did weights and ate very moderately. I had a great lunch with a great friend at my favorite restaurant (Yes Lisa, it was Quynh Nhi, hello), exercised, and feel awesome about myself. And when I feel good about myself, I don't want to ruin that by gorgeing and scoffing.
Teehee. Scoff.
About a month ago I started using www.sparkpeople.com for REALZ, tracking food and changing my thinking. I need to stop being ALL or NOTHING about EVERYTHING. THAT is my hugest (yes, hugest) obstacle to being at my optimal weight, and hugest obstacle to, well, pretty much everything. I am the type that goes, "Ah FRIGG, I ate a bite of that cake. Why did I go and do that. Why did I have to RUIN THE DAY. Well, I've ruined it now. I might as well eat the whole effing cake." Or this brilliant one: "I can't do that better than everyone else in the whole world, so why even bother trying." And the classic: "I can't sight-read that perfectly and instantly. What is WRONG with me. I suck."
Yeah.
No more. This is literally the first time in my life that I feel my thinking is starting to clarify and stabilize. Becoming less extreme is something I've always heard talked about (often in the context of "You know, you really do need to be less extreme about everything"), but never cared to change because it was FUN being extreme. Until it affected my health and happiness. So screw being extreme. I'm totally going 100% all-out NON-extreme.
Hee hee.
So I've started walking 10 minutes a day. And because I feel so good about myself for walking 10 minutes a day, I've started doing weights 10 minutes a day. Except that it's not just 10 minutes. I'm enjoying myself (and my tunes) so much, the walk turns into 20 minutes (and sometimes, yes, sometimes even into a JOG!!! Ya, I KNOW.) And don't get me going on how much I love weights. I used to go to the gym all the time and I lived for the weights (Kurt, that was for you). Talk about feeling STRONG. Love it.
So today, even though I ate pad thai and fresh rolls, I walked for 15 minutes, and did weights and ate very moderately. I had a great lunch with a great friend at my favorite restaurant (Yes Lisa, it was Quynh Nhi, hello), exercised, and feel awesome about myself. And when I feel good about myself, I don't want to ruin that by gorgeing and scoffing.
Teehee. Scoff.
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